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I was letting old tapes play in my head about being used, about men in my past who didn't mind sexing me up but didn't want a relationship with me. Charles wanted our lovemaking to be unfettered by fear or negativity; I didn't want to have any emotional blocks between us. And we both wanted us to join in a union of transcendent, unparalleled ecstasy so we waited until the time was right.Other times, the subject of sexuality never entered our evening experience. Sometimes, I could sense that I shouldn't initiate anything romantic or sexual between us because he was at his very limit for frustration. I would hug him and he would give me a look letting me know that I needed to back off. On those nights, after we would part, I would lie in bed alone, pleasuring myself, wanting to call him to me and invite him to be my lover. When I showered, my fingers would find the slippery folds of my pussy and rub my clit and I would imagine him thrusting deeply inside me, completing me. I imagined. Great game!”“Thanks -- I didn’t know you were coming today, Riley didn’t tell me.”“I didn’t tell her, just decided to drive over this morning as a surprise. I’ll say hi to her when she’s done over there,” I said, gesturing to where she was still talking to that guy.Hannah nodded. “Oh. Good to see you!”“You too,” I said, sitting down on the bench. I watched Riley out of the corner of my eye, and could see her nodding her head as the guy asked her a question. After another 5 minutes, their conversation broke up, and the guy headed off the field. Smiling broadly, Riley picked up her duffel bag and started walking towards the locker facility, and that’s when she saw me.“Mark! Hi Mark,” she said. She dropped her bag and gave me a quick hug. “I didn’t know you’d be here -- I mean, it’s good to see you but I didn’t know,” she said. I wondered if there was a slight tone of guilt in her voice.“Yeah,” I said. “I didn’t have plans today and wanted to see you play, so I decided on kind of a spur.
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