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"Robert, your mother will need you too. She will carry this burden and guilt for a long time. You must not let that guilt overwhelm her. At times, you will have to support her. Hold her when she cries and remind her of your brothers' love. You will have to give her your love too. Can you do this?"I nodded and wondered who was going to help me. Tears came again. I excused myself and went upstairs to my own solitude.That dinner began the slow destruction of our family. Before this, I think mom volunteered at the cancer society. By the next week, mom announced that she had obtained a paying job. She said sadly, "I will not be making much in the beginning, so we may have to watch our spending." From then on money became another concern in our family.Within six months almost all of our extra money was cut. No more Xbox games; no more dinners at nice restaurants, and no more extra money for Doritos after school. My brothers felt this and complained more than me. I took my first step to. They didn’t help. It was like driving through a car wash.I was getting worried. My wipers were going full blast. But, I couldn’t see ten feet in front of me. Then the lightning started. It was a continuous sequence of forks, with strikes all around me in the forest. The noise of the thunder was calamitous. I couldn’t drive any further.I’ve been a cop for three decades and I’ve faced a lot of scary situations. But sitting there alone, in THAT forest, was the worst I’ve ever experienced. The rain made it impossible to see and the constant flashes of lightning and deafening volleys of thunder lit up the area with a nightmare ambiance.An atavistic feeling of dread crept over me. It probably hearkened back to the days when we lived in caves. We were the prey back then, not the hunters, and looming trees and impenetrable darkness hid a lot of terrifying things. I quickly found out just how true that premonition was.I loved a woman once, and I knew that she loved me. I’d met her while I was.
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