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25 inches, it would cause a wound only .5 inches wide or so. I measured off 1.25 inches and put several layers of duct tape on the blade as a safety stop. This would absolutely guarantee that the blade would stop at the desired depth. I was confident in my calculations and would just look at the blade, review my movie from last year and get giddy and nervous and excited imagining the blade going into my gut.This was around the 2nd week of July. I need to do this by the 23rd. I was so ready and getting myself worked up psychologically for the annual ritual. To be honest, just the thought of a piece of hard, cold steel blade entering my gut gets me to a point of insanityI stabbed myself twice last year, but it was so shallow. Would I be able to this year? As the day approached, I made a trip to the desert to scout out a proper and private location. Last year’s spot was compromised. I parked my car, got my cameras, two this year for simultaneous filming from two angles, and hiked about a. Another huge man stepped through the door. I squeaked in terror and tried to disappear backwards through the wall behind me.It was the father. He looked back and forth between Bec and me. He glared at me like he was angry. I don’t know why. I never did anything to him but he was so angry. I kept trying to press back into the wall. I was terrified he was going to come at me.He stepped forward and I whimpered with fear. But then he slid sideways and sat down on the bed beside Pearl. He sat there and looked at me with a weird expression on his face. He looked like maybe he was trying to decide if he could eat me. He looked hungry.A girl followed him into the room. It was the sister. She looked nervously around the room. She gave me a thin sort of smile and said “hi,” even though we’d never met.Then she said, “You must be Mischa. I’m Tara. I’m Bec’s sister – well, one of them.” She kind of rattled it off like she was following a script – like she didn’t care about me one way or the other..
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