I finally asked her: ‘Who is the girl behind the boobs?’ She burst out in tears and said: ‘I don’t know. I wish I did but I really don’t know.’ I asked her about her life before puberty. She described a happy childhood. She was somewhat of an outcast as the class ‘brain’ but not too much. Then she explained how everything changed: ‘As they got bigger and bigger lifelong friends started freaking out on me. The girls were worse than the boys and the boys were awful.’ I asked: ‘Have you considered breast reduction surgery?’ She answered: ‘I’ve thought about it. The funny part is that they are so much of me that I’m afraid shrinking them would shrink me away. I feel lost with them but I’m afraid that I would be even more lost without them. Am I making any sense?’ I replied: ‘Yes you are.’ She said: ‘I would like to have a guy in my life who is interested in the real me instead of my boobs but how can that happen when I don’t know who I am in addition to my boobs and my brain. Carrying. I am so in love with you…”Mel looked a bit apprehensive as my voice trailed off, and then said, “It sounds like there is a ‘but’ coming. ‘I love you Mel, but’...”“You’re right. The ‘but’ is this: I love you, but… I’m having a very hard time coming to grips with this sharing thing. Very hard. I don’t know… I don’t know how to deal with it. And Mel, I know that you and Alice already had something going on. And I’m just Johnny-Come-Lately, the new kid in town, and I don’t have any right to feel this way. But… I don’t like it.”Mel looked upset.“Are you giving me an ultimatum, then?” “No, sweetheart. I’m not doing that. I’m just… telling you how I feel, so we can discuss it or… something. I want to work this out with you. I don't want to hide anything from you.”I ran my fingers through my hair, nervous habit. “I’m trying to say, Mel, I just want you all to myself.”Mel relaxed, there were a few moments of comfortable silence. I watched as she looked down into her drink. I could tell she.
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