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He could not see the television screen, as it had been angled slightly away from his line of sight. But he could see feet, bare feet, accompanied by bare legs, at least bare up to the knees before a wall blocked his view of the person on the floor. ‘Honey?’ he called out, but there was no response. He set down the unwanted mail and his briefcase and quickly shed the winter coat and hat, looking again at the feet and noting how they were pointed away from him as if someone was stretching on the floor. His wife stretching would not be a surprise, but for her to be wearing so little while exercising… Yet he could quite clearly hear the sounds of a beach. As he slipped off his shoes, he had to wonder if this was not some nice surprise… He advanced, discovering that his wife indeed had bare legs – he instantly recognized the scar of an old injury on her right thigh. As he approached the end of the wall, more and more of her was revealed to him: the red-and-white striped bikini. Seth was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business. When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed to find a wife with whom to share his fortune. One evening, at an investment meeting, he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away. “I may look like just an ordinary guy” he said to her “but in just a few years, my father will die and I will inherit $200 million”. Impressed, the woman asked for his business card and three days later, she became his stepmother. Women are so much better at financial planning than men.What do you call a white woman with a yeast infection? Cracker with cheese.“Dad is it better to pass or fail?” “To pass of course” “Oh good you’ll be proud of me! I passed my pregnancy test”Two life-long friends were enjoying a few pints down their local bar, when one said to the other “If I ask you a question, will you promise to answer.
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