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Dad spotted my distraction and chuckled, and to be honest it was one of the few days when I was glad to get away and go back to my empty house. As I drove I thought of Alex and our time in the park. It had been so unexpected but so invigorating to talk to her, and I could feel that she was weaving a spell on me. Perhaps I should channel a little of my dad. *** During the week I did the thinking that I needed to do. I was at a low ebb professionally and I knew it, finding it increasingly difficult to motivate myself to go through the same material and fight the same indifference. I went for a couple of long walks across Mitcham Common, trying to make sense of my career, but I was rapidly moving to a radical decision, and I could feel it rising inside me. It only remained for me to admit it to myself. By Thursday I was finally able to say it, I needed a long break or I would need to leave the profession. I called my Head of Department and then the Head of the School and made my case at. I surged against her insistent foot massage.Every atom of Holly was bad news, of that I was certain. She epitomised all that was wrong with trash celebrity; constant take take take, reality TV, books, movies, Christmas light switch-ons, everything and anything for attention. And yet, alone in the limo, away from the cameras and the spotlight, a human quality I'd rarely witnessed bubbled under the surface. A vulnerability that turned me on.I fought to resist, but yearned to devour the growing wet patch. To take advantage of that chink in her perfection. Feel her legs wrapping my head as she spasmed and clutched at my buzz cut. I craved to own her. Score one for the common man and fuck some sense into her. Demonstrate just how she affected me every damn day I had to open doors for her, and make sure she was safe.Our eyes locked, hers drilling into mine. Daring me to break the divide. To cross no-man's land. My body quivered and I battled to control it. Knew it was wrong, but I wanted.
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