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But I did not have the least desire to end my obsession. I actually wondered if I was going through some hormonal change, though I was much too young for menopause. Or as if I had been given some aphrodisiac that kept me constantly sexually aroused. As Brad says–and that is part of it: inside that grotesque form is one of the finest and most original minds I have ever encountered–it is a conceit to call ourselves rational animals. We are Homo insipiens, not homo sapiens. Cocks, hands, tongues, fingers, breasts, cunts, dildoes, fists, bodies, ropes, chains, sperm, whips–though it was a long tantalizing time before he whipped me–filled my body, my mind, my life. I did not want it any other way. As I said, the sequence doesn’t matter. It was all one. —- Mid afternoon. New York. In my street whore outfit, including wig, I walk through Times Square to the 42nd Street subway station where I board the C Train and ride all the way to the Bronx and back. Brad and Jefferson board as well and. Now everyone would know that Tris and me were dancing partners because of the picture in the paper. Tris and me had never told anyone at school that we danced together, because I hadn't wanted Tris to be teased about it. But that was when I had no friends. Now I had lots of friends, and friends aren't nasty to each other.May the 22nd was my 8th birthday. Mummy arranged a party for me at the Mount Hermon Community Centre, and invited everyone from the first years at school, and all the Brownies, and all the girls from ballet and all the boys and girls from ballroom and Latin Dancing. There was over a hundred children altogether, and we had a great time. We played Pass The Parcel and Pin The Tail On The Donkey and Musical Chairs. Mummy got Mrs Duffield and Auntie Maureen to help with making things to eat, and she got a clown to come and do funny things. I got a nice surprise when I found out that the clown was my friend from the pantomime, Dicky Dornoch. He was very funny. He got.
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