Then I felt his hands under my knees as he lifted my legs up, pushing them out to the side and opening my hips wide. The next thing I was aware of, was hands on my wrists and cuffs being put on. The material was soft and comforting against my skin, but then my arms were pulled together and hoisted high above my head where they stayed, anchored to what, I had no idea. Next I felt cuffs go round my ankles and they too were secured leaving me almost doubled over, my sex high in the air exposed for all the world to see. I anticipated his gentle mouth licking my tender spots, so was shocked instead to feel sharp stings as he slapped my pussy with an open hand. "Oww no" I cried out, only to be slapped harder, my clit, pussy and ass stinging each time his hand landed. I could feel the heat rising and knew that my skin would be glowing and yet still he carried on. Should I use the word? How much could I take? But very soon the slaps took on an erotic pleasure of their own. In my mind I. ” He gets her name, address etc. and then asks, “What’s your occupation?”“I’m a prostitute,” she says.The accountant is taken aback and says, “That’s too gross. Let’s try to re-phrase that.”The woman says, “OK, I’m a high-end call girl.”“No, that still won’t work. Need something more acceptable.”They both think for a minute; then the woman says, “I’m an elite poultry farmer.”The accountant asks, “What does poultry farming have to do, with being a prostitute?”“Well, I raised a thousand cocks last year.”Chartered Acct : “Brilliant!! ‘Poultry Farmer’ it is! and Agricultural Income is tax-free.”Twelve of the finest (unintentional) double-entendres ever aired on British TV and radio:1. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator - “This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother.”2. New Zealand Rugby Commentator - “Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him.”3. Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator - “And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and.
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