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I nearly cried with the conflicting emotions.I hated being a boy, because I could not legally dress like this, and look like this. I hated looking like this, because I knew that I could never again find satisfaction as a boy. I would always remember how pretty I looked, and how pretty these clothes had made me feel, and I would resent that I was not a real girl. I knew for certain though, that I was not a real boy any more. I never could be, not after seeing what I looked like, and knowing what I felt like when I was dressed like this.I felt guilty, because I was betraying my boy hood. I had fought and struggled all of my life to preserve the image of being a normal boy, and now, I looked better in my sister's clothes than I ever had as a boy.I felt anger and resentment. The only difference between them and me was that they had a different hormone, and I had that bit of flesh between my legs. Why had life been so unfair to me? I wanted to cry, but I looked too pretty when I. "I nodded. That didn't mean that I didn't have obligations, however. TheStarshine meeting was taking place this morning just before the soundcheck. Then I had most of the day free before the evening's concert. Istill hated all the waiting that was involved in being famous. I knewthat Amy would try to fill it with media requests or some other suchthings that she always wanted me to participate in, but I just wanted tohave some fun today."I'll be up front when you're ready," Amy said. I nodded and she closedthe door as she stepped out of the room, leaving Mom and me alone. Momstill needed to shower and get ready for the day, but Amy had showeredlast night. When I finished getting dressed and joined her and my dad, Ihad a smile on my face. I loved concert days.Even though we weren't at home, Mom had decided to make me a goodbreakfast. Starting a concert day with one of Mom's breakfasts wasn'tsomething I normally received, but it was a great start to the day. Ifilled a plate and took a.
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