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, backed into the evergreen-choked driveway of my stepson-in-law's rented house. I sit in my camper at a fold-down table to write this.The houses front on narrow streets without sidewalks. Shallow front yards with a fringe of inconsistent grass border the rows of Korean War-era, single-story, hasty-built houses.Vance and Tanya rent one of these. The eave boards are rotted and paint is peeling in ribbons down their length. A patina of 40 years of neglect and an uneven growth of grey-green moss has crept onto the flimsy siding. Three young women, two babies, and 50-something Vance live here. Two are Vance's daughters, the third is his new wife; one baby is his granddaughter, the other is his infant son.Anita, the older daughter, has a day job and plays softball and tries to stay away from home when possible. She has the baby girl, is 23, and divorced. Sarah, her sister, is mid-high school age, is attending school infrequently, is bone thin, chain smokes, has dark circles under her eyes,. Although I guess Ilike how your genitals are configured right now. They seem less off-putting; cuter."I sat down in her chair by her computer."I saw you today, dressed up so pretty, and God, I wanted you. I'veactually fantasized about you turning into a girl before, and it was likemy dream came true this morning. Sort of. But that was the final strawthat made my wall of denial come crashing down. So I've been here,reflecting, since then." Wow," I said."I'm sorry if I've hurt you, or confused you," Beth said."No! No, there's nothing to apologize about. That's all seems like prettylogical reactions to the situation."Silence."You know, I've been in love with you for some time now," I said.Tears started to flow out of Beth's eyes. "I know. I'm sorry. I hope youdon't feel like I've been leading you on." No," I sighed. "I never felt that." I was always dreading the day you admitted your feelings to me, and Ihad to come up with some lame excuse that would probably end ourfriendship..
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