“I know, it’s hard to believe, but I think it will help. I’m just asking you to give it a shot. Do your best and see what happens. If it doesn’t work, you can go back to your old life, and all you’ll have lost is a little time. Just try it, for me,” I said, putting emphasis on those last words.In actually, I didn’t believe charitable works would necessarily keep someone from getting hooked. I mean, I’m sure it worked for some people, but it wasn’t something I really thought was the key to kicking an addiction. What it was, was a good excuse to explain why she was not feeling the need to get wasted anymore, instead of her subconsciously going with what I was asking of her.“Okay. I’ll give it a try, for a little while at least.”“That’s all I asked.”We stayed and chatted for a while longer, and it was dark by the time we headed home. The entire drive back to the house, I kept thinking I forgot something. It wasn’t until I walked in the front door that I remembered what I’d forgotten to. I try to get back into my song writing to pass the time untilCharlotte's return, but her words- just like Mikey's and Becca's- areresonating within me. Every time I've faced my fear in the past, it'sonly ever worked out well for me- and one particular moment springsimmediately to mind."I don't need to be afraid," I whispered to myself as I looked at mysixteen year old reflection in the mirror. Mere minutes earlier, thatface had been covered in make-up professionally applied as a 'treat' formy birthday. My body had been wrapped in an expensive dress, my nailshad been covered in a red-coloured polish, and I... I felt like I wasabout to suffocate. Literally felt like I was about to die. It was afeeling I'd felt countless times before, but on those occasions, I'dbeen too afraid to do anything. Today... Today was different."I don't need to be afraid," I repeated, even though deep down inside, Iwas petrified. For months, I'd tried to convince myself that I wasreally a boy, that I wanted to.
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