My cheek was to her chin but I felt a slight nudge as if she were trying to push me away but didn't want me to stop. Her hand was squeezing mine now. I continued until my mouth was on her neck then down to her collar bone. Finally she moved her head down, her cheek to mine, where we then met lips. It was a sweet kiss, it lasted only a short second when she walked inside and went directly to her room. I closed the door when I walked in, took off my shirt, took off my shoes but I was invigorated, suddenly aroused. I was sexually aware, my senses were hightened, a fight or flight experience if you will. It was too quiet. My aunt and uncle were sleeping, my younger cousin was sleeping, I knew Joey was sleeping, but I knew Lana was awake so I marched to her door, put my hand on the knob and my head to the door. "If it's locked I sleep, if it's not I go in," I said to my self. I must be crazy, I turned the knob and it was open. A panic struck me, heart pounding and a knot in my throat I. Adapt or die isn't just a bumper sticker. The bitch is the tool that ensures a species survival is the same one that tends to kill people like me. Under constant threat of death, the mind adapts and becomes comfortable in its environment. It becomes like slipping into a hot bath, the sting of heat followed by the relaxing of tension and total immersion, it can be like heaven on earth. And then you're dead, insidious.This adaptation mechanism has been the death of more of the people I have worked with than anything else I have come across. The risk of death starts fresh every day, but by noon the old-timers tended to get a little sloppier, and to a lesser extent so to did the young pups. Even the ever-present and real danger of death becomes something that is muted by the human minds' familiarity with a constant threat. To protect the people I worked with as well as myself I promoted my own "sober second thought moments" to anyone and everyone that would listen. Whenever the thought.
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