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The pebble that screamed between my butt cheeks was now a dull constant ache that reached my finger tips. Why after all these years of evolution, would man, who can fly to the moon, have to suffer this? I was in a horrifying state, the pain absorbed all of my thoughts and just as I was close to crying out for help, for the second time on my holiday the Angels sung for me.That little green and blue cross is the same in every language and hallelujah to the motherfucker who invented it. There she was, amnesty, pharmacy whatever you wanna’ call it. At that point, soothing ass relieving cream that’s what I called it. I went in there, all confidence chewed up like cows cud, and with a held back tear said, ‘Haemorrhoid cream please.’ She knew the word, I wasn’t the only man to ever ask for haemorrhoid cream. But fuck it’s embarrassing man, like asking for condoms and some KY jelly.Like a crab with the winning lottery ticket, I edged outta’ that place before making my way up two flights of. That is the schedule we stuck to for about three months and then one Sunday night things changed — drastically!It started out as a typical Sunday. We slept until almost ten. We woke up, made love and then got up and had breakfast and read the morning papers. Later we went out and did some shopping and then went back to her apartment and made love. When it was over we discussed what to do that evening."Where would you like to have dinner?" I asked."We haven't been to Scala's for a while." Okay, Scala's it is. Then what?" I'm in the mood for a movie." Any particular one?" No, not really. Let's see what kind of mood we are in when we finish dinner. I don't want to inflict another 'chick flic' on you so soon after the last one, but I don't want a blood, guts and gore movie either."Dinner was a leisurely affair and between the two of use we polished off a bottle of Merlot. Tessa settled on a movie and we left the restaurant and headed for the theatre. We were about halfway there when.
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