We sat for what seemed a long time neither of us speaking; then both of us tried to speak at the same time. After a short laugh, I went first."Patti, in just the couple of days that I've been home and we've been seeing one another, I've discovered that I'm really beginning to fall for you. You're funny, easy to talk to, fun to be with and, dare I say, sexy beyond words. I think I'm falling in love for the first time in my life."Bill..." No; let me finish first. I know I have no right to expect that a girl as beautiful as you could ever fall for a guy like me. I've watched you work out and have been overwhelmed by your strength as well as your beauty. How can I hope to compete with you; I would just embarrass myself if I tried. I'm just a nerdy wimp, who can barely lift eighty-five pounds."Bill, that's enough," she shouted. "If I wanted to go out with some super-star jock, don't you think I would have? No, I've been down that road before and I discovered that was not what I wanted. I. Silly me. I assumed he meant the email account's sent file - not just the one on his phone. I should have known better.As I suspected, his wife had wormed her way into his email online, and is checking it regularly. Of course she sees those messages to me. Of course all hell breaks loose, yet again. I hadn't seen the messages until much later, and so I hadn't responded to them, but it's bad enough without that technicality.He says he needs to go dark. I agree. I delete and block him from my chat program.*****Losing Patrick like this has been difficult. I'm so used to having him to talk to that not having him there is a huge hole in my day.I'd be flat-out lying if I didn't acknowledge that the funk I've been in for the past month isn't, in large part, due to this relationship ending. I know I've been mourning the loss of him; I feel the loss to my core.He knew me. He knew my thoughts, my quirks, my body... sometimes better than I did. He has been my best friend, he's made my days.
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