‘Bill, only if it’s a handle and we both empty it together.’ We laughed and I began the next leg of a trip that was over 5 years in the making. It’s been ten weeks since Marie came back into my life, and it’s been a gut wrenching ten weeks. Gut wrenching in a good way… sometimes… maybe… occasionally? This long planned trip with Bill to canoe and fish in the shallow flowages in northwestern Wisconsin was supposed to be a way to get away from it all. I brought it all with me and Bill got to hear it all, several times. I owe him more than a handle of great cognac. For what he did for me, a case of the best cognac still wouldn’t be enough. Marie and I have been dancing around each other for the past ten weeks. Neither of us willing to take a step to either end the dancing and go away, or get closer. Both are scary things. Five years apart, we both married and divorced, both not seeing anyone else for the past year. Her parents came into town twice and stayed with me both times because. For this world is a man’s world and a woman is expected to wait for a man to take action. But I took action. In the grimoire I found there was an entry on bending another’s will to one’s own. And strangely, the grimoire seemed to bend my own, for immediately I began to imagine how I might use this to influence Oliver’s behaviour towards myself. And I will not deny it – was a most sublime experience, almost worth the certain knowledge of what I will endure for my transgression. Yesterday Chesterton had been trapped in the rafters of the green-house and I asked Oliver to fetch him for me. He was very rude to me at first but finally relented. It was so good to see him, and while he was working out the best way to retrieve Chesterton, I determined to try the recipe on Oliver that very night. I invited him to dinner and he was finally persuaded. I had absinthe on hand, and this was one of the ingredients needed, as well as catmint, ladysflower, St. John’s wort and wormwood to add strength.
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