Not after giving up my career aspirations of writing so he could move up in his career. What I call my ‘idiot years’ at the end of the marriage did, however, provide the foundation for the future when I was ready: resolve to focus on writing; and, the knowledge to provide myself with very real and satisfying pleasure with toys and my own fingers.Even though I am alone, and committed to being alone (I won’t trust a man ever again and, despite writing about slutty, desperate women ready to ride any available man, I won’t stoop to being a man’s toy or object), I have a closet full of erotic outfits I love wearing for myself and more mirrors throughout the house than normally seen. In essence, I use the outfits and the mirrors to entice myself … and the wine helps. Desperate? Not in my mind. And, my mind has become a chamber of eroticism in the process. Spending that much time enticing yourself and pleasuring yourself and your mind becomes a welcome archive of imaginations of. If a man is persistent and patient enough…if he can find where she breaks…that perfect place where she feels like a little girl all over again…take her where fairy tales and dreams come true…’ Sal’s voice trailed off as he leaned down on the counter until he was close to my face, and He whispered, ‘If you hurt that little girl, I’ll cut your nuts off and feed ’em to ya in an omelet. You understand?’ I looked at him and couldn’t help but laugh a little bit. ‘Yes, sir,’ I said. He winked and smiled as Sarah came back over. ‘Honey why don’t you take the rest of the night off? I can handle this crowd.’ Sal said to her and started towards the kitchen. ‘What? Sal, are you sure? I don’t mind.’ She answered. I jumped in, ‘To tell you the truth, I was really hoping for some waffles.’ Sal turned back to me, ‘Oh, you’ll get your waffle if you want it.’ Then to Sarah, ‘You are officially off the clock. I’ll get you some coffee.’ And Sal limped back into the kitchen. Sarah sat and talked with me.
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