..1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.4. You think a woman who is out of your league bowls on a different night.5. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.6. Someone in your family died right after saying, 'Hey, guys, watch this.'7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.8. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.9. Your junior prom offered day care.10. You think the last words of the Star-Spangled Banner are 'Gentlemen, start your engines.'11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.12. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get. We didn’t have extended family. But I’ve been alone long enough. I don’t know what kind of dad I’ll be but I’m ready to do this for us including whatever comes with it.”“To make Lavi and I happy?”“Yes and no. I can’t be happy unless you are.”“You got harder thinking about me pregnant earlier.”“What can I say, satyrs like the fruit of their labors.”She continued getting dressed and looked at my slyly. “Fruit is good for you.”I grinned back, “And I hear nymphs are especially good at picking and delivering it.”She smiled and in a formal voice, “Thank you for your help bathing, good sir. I’ll be sure to tell mommy you’ve been such a good friend.”I laughed. “If you do I want a recording of her reaction.” With that, we finished getting dressed and just in time as I heard the bedroom door shut and Lavi walked in.“Did I get here too early or too late?” She asked.“Definitely too late,” Melissa responded and kissed her eagerly.“So, when are your parents going to be here?” I asked.Lavi looked.
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