” He pushed me up against the sink and reached for a jar of Vaseline. “ You won't need that,” I said. “ You'll thank me later,” he said. He got a big finger of Vaseline and put his finger inside me, then did another before taking my hand and leading me to the kitchen. The food was on the table. Chinese takeout in boxes, not the homemade meal I'd been expecting. The table was set with the good china though, and beautiful chop sticks. “ There's pie after,” Leanne said. “But there's the pie challenge to get through first.” “ What kind of pie?” I asked. “ Lemon,” she said. “And I made it myself.” “ Really?” “ Well, I bought it myself,” she said. She held up two pieces of peeled ginger. “I did peel these myself,” she said. “One for you and one for me.” I wasn't sure that I was up to more ginger. It flashed into my mind though that there had been more to Neal's greasing me up in the bathroom than I'd thought. I had an ally, a temporary one, at least. “ You first,” I said. She. Never once." Well, it's time you did. I'm going to the Cape this weekend. Wanna come?" Are you serious? Me on a nude beach?" Think it over, Ginnie. Let me know tomorrow."That night, I stood naked before a full length mirror and examined myself: sagging breasts with very long nipples, a bit of a paunch, a grey-thatched vulva from which my inner lips protruded over an inch and a half. I'd always been very self-conscious of my nips and "curtains" (as my sorority sisters called them), and had dreaded showing them to others. But I had come to see them as natural parts of my body, nothing to be ashamed of. I weighed only twenty-three more pounds than I did in college, most of that in my thighs. For a woman of fifty-nine, I still had a pretty good body, I decided. But could I get up the nerve to expose it in public, for everybody to see?I dreamed that night. I dreamed that I was walking down a tree-lined residential street. I was completely naked. Men leered at me and taunted me. Women.
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