I'm a failure. I couldn't even keep my wife. She failed me; I didn't fail her. There was nothing wrong with me. Keep telling myself that, buddy. Keep telling myself I'm not a failure as I lose another one to her family. This needn't be either or. I could still have a family and allow her freedom. No. I can't. That isn't me. It isn't me ... but love sometimes requires some sacrifice. I am not that man. I'm not jealous, but I must be first ... and in this situation I'd never be first. Why couldn't I be first? Jeanie was arguing the point with her older sister because she thinks she loves me...Do I really want to start down this road? Do I really want to take that chance again? I don't know, do I? I'll always be looking in if I don't try to climb through the window...As my mind did battle with itself, I sunk down into the two-seat glider situated at the end of the porch. As my headache coursed through my brain, I leaned my head back and closed my eyes. I was so tired of fighting myself;. She even slipped in a few jokes about women to Markus and got a smile out of him. We never got around to another conversation in the early days, but that didn’t stop me from shooting glances like a machine gun. Every time that cleavage was in full view, every time she bent over to pick something up, I’d be there looking and she’d be annoyed and embarrassed. One time she even verbalized it. “Would you like me to start coming to work in a frumpy potato-sack? Perhaps then you’d go back to looking at secretaries and assistants like the other men do. At least they accept I’m untouchable.” I grinned. “Go ahead. I imagine a potato-sack would be quite itchy. You’d probably need to slip out of it by noon.” “Believe me, I can bear an itch.” “But will you ever take a scratch?” She pulled back her lips just slightly, grimacing. Without a word she stood up and left my office. This was the first time I got a last word in, and it felt good. I kicked up my feet. I considered the fact that Heather.
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