“I am to be your instructor,” the spider hiss/rumbled/echoed.“My name’s Pirate Mask,” I said, trying to sound calm. It came out as a high pitched whine. Like a balloon escaping.“To pronounce my name correctly, you would need to ... rip out your tongue,” the spider monster hiss/rumbled/echoed. For purposes of brevity, I will abbreviate that now to ‘said.’I coughed. “Well, uh, Mr. Underhill,” I said, reaching up to adjust my collar before I remembered I was buck naked and hadn’t worn a collar for what felt like five lifetimes. “Since I’m technically here to learn how to shapeshift, I suppose I could. Uh. Do that.” I grinned. “Right?”Sherkaner Underhill (that was the name I’d given him, if you don’t get it, read a fucking book philistine) paused for a few moments. His eyes rippled as they blinked in a slow pattern that looked a bit like something a video game would use to show that it was loading a level down at the bottom corner of the screen. Then he said: “I like you, unknown. . yeah fucking right,” Eva said aloud as she brought herself to her feet. “I kissed one guy, and that was enough.” Eva's first and only kiss with a guy had been memorable in the worst way. Crammed into a dark closet with a strange guy thanks to an inane party game, she played along and kissed the oaf. She tried to gut through the ordeal, but at the touch of their tongues, the game was over. Eva vomited down his throat and onto his shirt. He bolted out of the closet while Eva stumbled into the back yard where she stayed, alone, for the remainder of the night, downing wine coolers and trying to get the taste of his spit out of her mouth. From then on, every time a boy even looked at her, she tasted male skin and puke. And look they did. Eva returned to her bedroom and appraised her self in front of the same mirror that Claire's faultless visage had filled just minutes before. Eva slipped her tank top off. The soft skin of the full breasts rippled slightly as her arms fell to her side..
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