The wisdom of years: he’s forty-two but he’s one of my best friends. We’d hit it off six years ago when we worked together at the library, and it had never been anything but platonic. But he listened to classical music and read Vanity Fair. He was someone who always had a willing ear and a new perspective on things. “Yes, but still….I’m not sure, Martin. I might have really blown it this time. The money wasn’t bad and was the job really that awful?” “Emma, it really was that awful. You’ve been close to despair for over a year now. Do you have any idea how many jobs there are out there? I don’t think there’s any excuse for being unhappy in what you do all week long.” I sigh and rest my chin on my hands. Martin’s words make sense, but I feel more and more glum. “Sure, but times are hard right now! It could take weeks to find something, and my rent isn’t going to go away. Shit…it would be a lot fucking easier if I had a man in my life right now.” “Listen to me, Emma,” says Martin,. I could hear myself thinking and saying to myself that If only I could talk, I would make her let me go, but the GAG stopped me from saying anything but a few ineligible grunting sounds. If only I could have one hand free, but the handcuffs kept me so well confined that there was no way I would be releasing myself without her help. I could even over-power her and put her in this position to teach her a lesson, if only I was in the current position. If only I could see what was going on, I would be able to predict her actions and then find a weakness, but I was not in a position to do anything for myself. I was now playing possum and knew I would have to be as calculating as she was to be able to get myself out of this unfortunate circumstance I had put myself into. I then heard her say, it is OK, I can only imagine your brain working to find a way out of this, don’t worry, I Know you, and I can predict your every move. I have made special arrangements, just for you. I have no way to.
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