But, as I soon found out, I wasn't doing much to helpother people. One particularly brutal assignment that got a lot ofpeople killed in the name of changing one worthless government in thethird world for another, I decided to walk away. I was now 30 and withmy background managed to get a job with the Albuquerque policedepartment as a detective. Again, the bureaucracy did me in. They alsohad no use for my cross-dressing, although I figured it would be greatin vice. That also practically got me run out of town. So, I decided tohang out a shingle as a private eye. With my sister the lawyer's help, Idecided to create a fictional cousin as a partner so I could operate asa man and woman. My past connections with the agency also helped. TanyaLynn Lamm was born. If I needed an actual person for a meeting for bothof us with a client, my sister would always fill in.So, that's how I got to this point. Carol called and said that theclient was here. I rose and took her hand when she arrived and. Again I watched enthralled at how easily she took to Tony, like a duck to water. They would spend hours together just talking and laughing uproariously. When, in short order, they announced they were getting married, I hardly knew what to think or feel. True, I loved them both and was delighted that a solution to Tony’s situation had presented itself so neatly. I even felt proud that in some roundabout manner I had played a part. But he now spent a lot of time with Jenny and they talked endlessly–what about I don’t know. Though of course if I were to be asked what I talked about with him myself I would run into great difficulties as the talk flowed so easily between us. The pure naked truth is that I wanted more of that and I missed it. The last straw came when they announced they were not planning to stay in Kenya, but were relocating to Australia. I refused to admit even to myself that I resented whoever between them had brought up with the idea. If I let those emotions boil to.
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