He said, “Preacher, I’ll tell you, that was a damned fine sermon. Damned good!”The preacher said, “Thank you sir, but I’d rather you didn’t use profanity.”The man said, “I was so damned impressed with that sermon I put five thousand dollars in the offering plate!”The preacher said, “No shit?”WEDNESDAYBrenda and Steve took their six-year-old son to the doctor. With some hesitation, they explained that although their little angel appeared to be in good health, they were concerned about his rather small penis.After examining the child, the doctor confidently declared, “Just feed him pancakes. That should solve the problem.”The next morning when the boy arrived at breakfast, there was a large stack of warm pancakes in the middle of the table.“Gee, Mom,” he exclaimed, “for me?”“Just take two,” Brenda replied. “The rest are for your father.”DO NOT LAUGHTHURSDAYOne night, an 87-year-old woman came home from Bingo to find her 92-year-old husband in bed with another woman. She became violent. ‘Considering the length of time it has been neglected, it is remarkable that it is still sound in the hull and superstructure. It is a testimony to the quality of the builder.’ ‘Can you give me a report that outlines what needs to be done to bring it back to its former condition?’ ‘Yes … it will take me some time and it will be an extensive report, but I can do that. I will want to spend more time on the boat to see what other issues need to be addressed. That will include the engines and running gear, electronics and plumbing. It won’t be inexpensive, I can promise you. Neither the report nor the restoration.’ I thought about it for less than a minute. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew this was something I had to do. Why, I couldn’t say. But it needed to be done. ‘Go ahead, Mister Gerhard. And if you can, I would appreciate the name or names of people who could do the work needed.’ He nodded, smiled and, I think, understood where my head was. This was an emotional decision,.
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