I grew up with boys and had more boy-friends than girl-friends throughout junior high and high school. I remember going over to my neighbor's house on several occasions and walking in on my guy friends watching porn together and teasing them for "taking notes" on what they watched. Once I was in my first serious relationship, it was with a guy who loved to watch porn. Sometimes we watched it together, but often he watched by himself. I started feeling like I was less and less attractive, and my insecurity only made things worse. Over time, my attitude toward porn changed from seeing it as something exciting, to seeing it as something bad. It wasn't until I got married to the man I loved so deeply that I would overcome that attitude. Jack was on a road trip during my epiphany. He and my in-laws were called to a family reunion out of state, and I was stuck at home because of work. A week seemed like a lifetime; it was the longest we were going to be apart in the years we had been. We had to prove to the world (and to ourselves) that we could stand on own two feet. Our business didn't take off overnight; it required a lot of hard work. For most of the first year, it began to look as if one of us might have to take a corporate job, in order to make ends meet. However, during that year, we were able to pick up a few regular clients, who were pleased with our efforts. As time went by, our reputation began to attract attention. Things really began to take off, during the first half of the second business year, and soon we had to hire a small staff to meet the rising demand for our services.Two years after we were married, it became apparent to us, that our future looked fairly secure. We began to seriously consider starting a family. Both of us wanted children and neither of us could think of a good reason to put things off any further. The end result was that Mattie was pregnant by April. Mattie was incredibly beautiful, as she progressed through the pregnancy. I.
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