.I love you. It may not be the way a son is supposed to love his mother, but I love you."I don't think I ever saw her eyes so wide. There it was, out in the open. After years of showing her contempt, I told my mother that I loved her, and wanted to have sex with her. That's a big gap. You know how on TV how actors exaggerate and show surprise by standing there with their mouth open, well that's how mom was looking at me, and she wasn't acting. After the moment of stunned silence passed she said, "My God John, what...I never imagined anything like this...you think I knew...?" She searched my eyes and said, "John, I didn't...how could I?"I thought for a minute and said, "Yeah, you're probably right. I just figured that since I felt it, you must have picked up on it. I'm probably still putting my own feelings on you." Since I'd already opened the door to the taboo subject, I walked through and said, "It's so strange mom, I can't believe that I'm almost twenty and I didn't realize it. Although I'm now wearing different clothes, no one seems to notices my weight loss, still it's still early days.It's payday again, and I know I have lost weight, my bras are so loose, I just don't fill the cups like a used to. I stand in front of the bedroom mirror again and measure myself. 40 - 34 - 44 not bad and probably only a D cup. I turn and look at myself, my boobs were always my best feature, now stand out proudly with very little droop. Time I started going out more often, wearing some of my older and sexier clothes that again fit me; those white jeans though are still a distant dream. Rummaging though my draws I find my old photo album, '1997 summer holiday', there I was on the beach, spilling out of my little bikini; and there was Paul the bastard.It's payday again and my monthly ritual begins, the tape measure tells it's own story. 40 - 30 - 42, my bust is still holding up but I have lost inches everywhere else; time for some new knicks again. For the first time I try on.
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