He asked why. They answered; “We don’t know for sure. The last commander told us to do it, so here we are. It seems to be a tradition of some sort.”The new commander called the old one to ask what the reason was, and the previous commander said; “I don’t know. The commander before me had guards on the bench, so I just kept it going.”After contacting three previous commanders as well, and still getting the same answer, the new commander finally found a retired General (nearly 100 years old) and asked; “Sir, I am the new commander at the base you were in charge of 60 years ago. I found two men assigned to stand guard on a bench near the mess hall. Can you please tell me why?”After a pause, the General replied; “What? Is the paint still wet?”????????????????Thank tavern_knight for this one~“So when the first pig asked the man for straw to build his house with...”“What do you think the man was thinking?”One of the teacher’s students in the back of the room, called out, “Fuck me, a. " Oh." I watched her process this. "Hokay!" Everything was cool again. I pulled her up for a kiss, after which she murmured, "Some guys wouldn't do that after what I was doing." Well, you didn't finish, did you?" I replied."No," she nodded, reflective. "Jou are right."I palmed a breast. "Go figure out the buttons on the hot tub and get it started, then stick a couple more pieces of pizza in the microwave and come get me." She got up to execute my wishes and I added, "and bring another beer!" Yeah, life was CERTAINLY good...She had smoky eyes, and a sweet way of rotating her ass to meet my strokes, and panted soft endearments in Spanish while clutching my arms. She was FAIRLY safe on her back; one or both of us might have thrown his or her back out due to those corkscrew motions. The only blemish on her was her Caesarian section scar -- and I didn't care one damned bit about THAT! Hell, it was probably a badge of honor! I did the best I could for her, but it probably wasn't spectacular.
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