If he initiated sex with me, that meant that he still found me desirable and then I could decide whether to actually have sex with him, based on whether he somehow jumped through all the hoops required (his words) to arouse me. He called my bluff way back then by opting not to play the game. He told me what he was doing but, because I was unwilling to accept my share of the blame for the situation we were in, I ignored his explanation.I had tried to reignite the romance by telling him how the men in my romance novels treated their women. I only succeeded in irritating him by, "Comparing him unfavorably to idealized men who never existed in real life."I had tried committing us to a regular "date night" to try to recapture the fun we had when our relationship was new and fresh. Eventually he pointed out that date night was all about fulfilling my needs by making him a captive audience on my schedule.I tried to help him find my G-spot and I even tried to find out if he was gay by. ‘Do you want to go off on your own sweetie. I’m sure the other boys don’t want to see your old man hanging out with you.’ ‘Are you sure daddy?’ you ask. ‘It’s up to you sweetie. This is for you today.’ ‘And you tomorrow because I know tomorrow will be sad for the both of us’ you say wrapping your arms around my arm. ‘Yes it is I didn’t know if you’d remember or not’ ‘How could I forget daddy?’ you ask ‘I know, you were just so much younger then, and I didn’t want to bring it up to you.’ I feel your warm embrace and I can’t help but smile. ‘I love you princess’ ‘I love you too daddy’ ‘So do you want to go off on your own or stay with me?’ I ask ‘I’m going to go find some k**s my age daddy, call me if you want me.’ ‘ok sweetie’ I walk back to the umbrella I had set up and the beach chairs. I pull out the book I started reading, and watch you swim away happily. I put on my sunglasses, scanning around the beach looking at all the tight young bodies in their bikinis, thinking that known.
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