“I don’t like Cadets, I don’t like snot nosed want to be officers and I am not too fond of fresh Ensigns right out of the academy. Granted previous experience made me prejudiced. When Admiral McElligott asked me to sit in on this hearing I was ready, just like my XO N’Utrtrn to break the stick over that cadet.”She spread her arms. “But truth to be told, he saved my ship. Saved me from carrying that cursed Kermac seed into Union space, giving Kermac access to the most powerful ship and all its secrets that alone earned my eternal gratitude. Yes rules are rules, but to be fair he doesn’t know the rules yet.”She addressed the Klack directly now.” I know you say not knowing the law you break doesn’t make you less guilty and they do call you N’Uts for rules for a reason old friend, but I am Captain for quite a while now, and I would not hesitate to offer him a post on our bridge when he is done with the Academy.”I think my chin dropped to my chest as I heard her judgment. Finally it was. I needed to fulfill my promise to my mother and I also truly believed that I was too young to get permanently attached. I was just twenty-four, just a bit older than you by about six months, but that wasn't really the main issue. I wanted to be with you, to move in with you the moment you asked, but then I'd be completely trapped for good, unable from that point to deny anything else of myself to you. I'd then break that vow and become your wife, then becoming little by little as I feared just another possession of yours. I know this feeling was unworthy of me, that you would have indeed cherished me and not just as an ornamental decoration, but I felt already trapped and I was desperate to find a way to escape without hurting your feelings or breaking your heart. I had to go, to be free of you, but I couldn't bear the thought of being the bad girl and cutting you apart from me in any direct manner. Instead, in my misery, I tried to just push you away, slowly at first and then nearly.
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