Another mirror and again I watched as I pulled on thecigarette. I drew a second time and watched as a rush of smoke came frommy nostrils. I am a smoker. I could feel the cigarette enervating me,lifting a layer of fog. I turned on the shower starting to feel moreconscious of my new body. Stepping back towards the mirror, I slowlyundid my robe. Almost solemly, I stood there, preparing myself to liftoff the smelly, oversized t-shirt. I took a last drag as if it werecourage and stubbed out the cigarette. I saw myself there, topless, with my arms up, pulling the t-shirt over myhead, watching my long hair fall back as I did. I dropped the shirt onthe floor and stared. Transfixed. My shoulders, my collar bone, theylead down to the flat of my chest, which sloped gently to two fullbreasts. One, somewhat rounder than the other, bulged slightly on theside. They both had light brown, oval areolas and thick, erect nipples. It was the first time I felt a sexual energy in this body.I. And so did Birgit’s death.”“This is all pretty new thinking,” Jessica said. “I’m aware of it because I did my undergrad work in psychology.”“I meant to ask you about that,” Kara said. “I thought you had to have a degree in biology or something like that.”“I double-minored in biology and chemistry,” Jessica said. “It’s not the normal route for pre-med to get a psych degree, but I don’t do things normally!”“No kidding!” I smirked.“Watch it, Tiger. I have access to scalpels and drugs!”“You’d regret it more than I would!” I chuckled.All three girls laughed. We finished breakfast, and Kara and I walked Jessica to work while Stephanie cleaned up the kitchen. On the way home, Kara walked me to the office, and then she went back home to get her books and head to class. I was in the office before everyone, as always, so I went to my office and fired up my computer and got to work. A little over an hour later, Kaitlin appeared at my office door, wearing a clingy cotton dress that really showed.
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