It was Alan who insisted that we take in a lodger to help with the mortgage and it was Alan who insisted on the lodger being a male.Our lodger turned out to be a twenty year old foreign exchange student attending the local university from England named Jamal, who was black. It was also Alan who decided to have a vasectomy two years before following the birth of our second child; otherwise, I would have been on the pill.It all started when Alan came dashing down the stairs one morning, blurting out, “God! You should have seen what I’ve just saw! He’s the answerto a nymphomaniac’s prayers!” Alan went on to tell me that he’d just seen Jamal naked in the bathroom. Alan said that Jamal had the biggest cock he’d ever seen. “I bet he’d make you eyes water!” said Alan. “He’d have you on your knees begging for more.” Little did Alan know just how prophetic he was.Alan had often said how much he’d like to see. "I swear by almighty god that the evidence I shall give shall be," Jones started saying and big Norman glowered."Get on with it!" Norman hissed."Mr Jones, can you tell us what happened on the night in question," Weasley asked."Well see we was having a bit of a practice see," he said in his annoying Welsh sing song voice, "And there was this horrible noise see, horrible it was and we went outside to see this chap hanging from a lamp post by his bollocks." By his bollocks?" Weasley asked, "Don't you mean by a rope going up his anus and out through his penis?"Jones looked confused, "Up his ass and out his cock," someone suggested."Oh no sir, that was another time," Jones admitted, "This one was swinging from his bollocks definitely." We mean the other time!" Weasley suggested."He's leading the witness Judge!" I said, "Anyway bollocks rip off if you hang cunts by them!" In all probability Mr Allthwaite," the Judge suggested, "But it is the night of the rope we are concerned with here Mr.
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