I walked into the packed sports bar wearing my U of State T-shirt. Not a seat to be found – even around the bar area. As I looked around a couple at a table in the bar invited me over since they were rooting for the same team. A good looking couple – Jackie had long dark hair – with these deep brown eyes – fair skin – some very nice curves – and some great perky tits that I could not help sneaking a peek at from time to time. Could tell her husband - Don - took care of himself – one of those body types that just reminded one of someone who spent a lot of time doing laps in the pool. After a few snacks to eat….a few beers...and a few shots of this and that – I was feeling no pain. As the game ended I thought about leaving – but before I could say anything I felt Jackie lean over to me – put her hand on my thigh – and suggest I let them drive me back to their place to let me sober up some and then get me back to my car later. Well despite all that I had to drink I could still feel. He was staring at his hands and picking at his nails. I like you Sean. Youre a nice guy. And I like&hellip,.w-what we do together. But I&hellip,I dont really know what Im doing. He fell silent and looked at his hands again. I didnt know what to say but didnt have to as he continued only a second or two later. I dont know what I am. I like you but Im not ready to be anything other than what I am. Im not ready for us. I dont know if I ever will be. He said softly. I sat up to be level with him. It was hard to be mad at him. He was confused, lost, somewhere between gay and straight and didnt have a compass to help him find the way. And, yet, it was painful to realize that what I felt for him might not be what he felt for me. What was I doing? I was putting myself out there even though I knew it might hurt. So am I just someone that youre experimenting with to figure things out? No! Youre more than that. You say that but how do I know that one day I wont walk downstairs to go to school.
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