So I decided that while I was having the day off I might as well relax. That's when the problem started again. All I heard was this screeching sound in my ears. Now that I was more awake though I figured it sounded more like when a radio is out of tune, or just off the right station. I remember wishing that it would just be quiet and it did. It was still there of course but it was barely negligible compared to the sounds I was hearing before and at least now I was able to think to myself about it.Now that I could think I thought back to all the stories that I have read in my life. In case you couldn't tell from my earlier description I am sort of socially inept. It's not that I can't talk to girls or anything like that, in fact most of my closest friends are female and only a few are male. It's more like I have a problem with trusting people most of the time plus I'm no good at handling myself in huge crowds of people. I just clam up. So I spend a lot of my time reading, and have. Then I felt strange and I felt heat rush through me, then cold and then I felt sick. I turned and walked quickly out of the room made a bee line over to the nurses station found a trash can and bent over it and threw up. I did so over and over until I had nothing left and then I collapsed to my knees and begin to cry harder then I ever had in my entire life. I can hardly express to you the deep horror and sadness and regret I felt inside my body. I felt and heard a nurse and my mother holding my arms talking to me but I could do nothing but cry. I cried so hard I was shaking and I can not tell you how long I cried. I couldnt believe that was my Elizabeth looking like that. Finally I felt my mom and the nurse get me to my feet and walk me over to a waiting area and they had a cold washcloth on my forehead. I had never felt so devastated as I did that moment and hoped I would never feel it again. Even after the rape, I was in shock and felt numb so I did not feel the absolute emotion.
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