Eric Hambley, Amelia found an old spiralnotebook, a picture of The Police on the cover, complete with pencilstuck in its spiral. For who knows how long, she looked at the notebook,afraid to reach out, take it, and find anything written inside. Finallyshe replaced the Bible and tried to ignore the notebook's existence.An impossible expectation, as each attempted return to her search soonended with the distracted realization that she could not pay attentionto her task. Morbid curiosity barged into her mind and demandedrecognition. To fight it, she fled, before normal, returning to themanor and a sleepless night.During that night Amelia realized she would give in the next day andwhen she did, found herself unsure about how she should feel. When hereyes finally lifted away from words written with a flowing, neat hand,they settled upon the cross at the front of the church. Yet neither itnor he who it represented provided answers. Not that Amelia expected anyfrom that direction, but Jan. I didn’t think it was right. I wouldn’t want to keep that from you. I just didn’t want us to start out on a lie. I just hope that doing the right thing isn’t ruining my chance with you.”Jen looked at me again, then looked down at her kitten.“It’s not,” Jen shook her head. “I guess I thought I had really screwed up and ruined my chance with you,” she said, her eyes wet. “Now I don’t feel quite as bad.”“Is that good?”“I don’t know,” she said after a pause. “I know I should feel better about this. I know I should be happy that you told me the truth, but inside I feel like I should be scared.”“You don’t have to be.”“I can’t help how I feel,” she shrugged.I knew exactly what she meant by that statement, but not necessarily how she felt.“How DO you feel?”Jen gave me a bit of a deer in the headlights look. “About you?”“About me.”Jen looked very uncomfortable on the straw bale, trying to shrink away from my gaze and my question. She took a moment to collect her thoughts, then inhaled and.
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