I was a fat k**, and always felt less than desirable to women during my teen years and didn’t really pursue girlfriends or anything. I was 20 years old when I lost my virginity. And it was well worth the wait!!One evening, my Buddy, his girlfriend, her stupid fucking friend, and a girl from my work went to the Warehouse to see a concert – I Mother Earth and Collective Soul, I believe. As my buddy’s girlfriend and her dipshit friend were still only 18 at the time, he and the two young girls spent the entire concert in the “Dry” section of the venue. As I’m not one to hang around with people who annoy me, I ventured to the bar and essentially hung out there all evening. Eventually I was joined by my slightly older work friend….Karen…yeah, let’s call her Karen…and we drank and drank and listened to the show, and drank, and chatting with each other as loudly as we could over the music. I leaned in to speak in her ear and she redirected and kissed me. That was it. For the remainder of the. That led to the first divorce. He married the mistress and now he’s cheating on her with one of his paralegals.”“That’s going to blow up in his face,” I said.“I agree. Just remember that with all those cute girls you have working at NIKA, especially Penny.”“You and Gwen have both pointed that out, not to mention my boss when I was an intern. But thanks for the reminder.”“It never hurts,” he said. “Anything else?”“No,” I said. “I’ll see you at breakfast.”We said goodbye and hung up.“That’s about as fucked up as anything I can think of,” Elyse said. “Illegal to have sex outside of marriage? Seriously? Illinois can kiss my ass!”“That’s probably illegal, too,” Kara giggled. “If it was ‘open and notorious’.”Elyse and I both laughed at that.“Do you realize how many people they would have to lock up if they tried to enforce that law?” Elyse asked.“Pretty much the entire population over the age of 17,” I said. “Sure, there are people who wait until they get married, but I’d say that they’re.
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