"Please, Patrick, tell me I'm forgiven and I'll leave right now and never bother you again. It's all I have to offer. I wanted these two days with you and the girls more than anything I have ever wanted in my whole life. I'll give them up, just to show you how sorry I am and how much I regret what I did. I know you wouldn't want to make love to me anyway now, so it would remove the need for you to pretend. Let me kiss my girls and I will go, if you'll just tell me I am forgiven! Please?" How would you go?" I asked quietly. I saw the last vestige of hope die in her eyes as I asked that question."Ama... the young girl knew this might happen. She told me how to contact her. She will take me away," Elizabeth sobbed quietly."Ironic, isn't it? I have wanted to die for years. Now I regret more than anything that I'm going to die now, all because I'm an idiot and a fool. Bandor was right; I really am as stupid as he said I was. God, what a fucked up life I've led!"I saw the hopeless, dead. "It tasted fine to me, delicate and creamy in fact. I couldn't imagine it being any better, and told her so. Her response: "If I were Judith and you Holofernes, I would cut off your head for impertinence!" A rather drastic remedy, I thought.Rather than cutting off my head, she filled it with a cultural education of sorts. We haunted foreign film festivals, viewed the works of Bresson ("Le Filou"), Carné, Eisenstein, Buñuel, Fritz Lang. She assigned me books to read, and we discussed Goethe, Stendhal, and Balzac. We talked far into the night, and sometimes fell asleep in each other's arms, too fatigued to make love.And there were the long walks in Central Park, the picnics on the lawn by the statue of Sigismund Wasa, mounted, in full battle armor, with crossed swords over his head. "He was king of Poland, a member of the Swedish royalty at a time when Sweden was still a superpower and exerted influence far beyond her borders," she informed me. I was ashamed at how little.
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