As an example, I am really not very satisfied with how the Katerei and Gorath storyline played out. I fell into the Shyamalan trap of having a twist for the twists sake. By the time I got to chapter 11 or so, I realized that the big reveal that Kat and Gor were spies would have little to no pay off. What I should have done was make that clear up front, have Kat and Gor slowly begin to doubt their mission as they grew closer to Jeanette, before finally making the decision to defect and come clean. Meanwhile, Jeanette would be growing closer to them, to the point where she is considering leaving Turogg, or figuring out a way to make it all work. Then when it is revealed there will be a much bigger impact. I also should have arranged for it to happen sooner, so it’s not all resolved in a single chapter. One of the improvements that Rebellion had was multiple POVs and stories. However, as I learned, it was hard to move the plot forward enough when cramming three stories into one chapter.. “That’s ... uh ... ambitious of you.”Tim’s natural enthusiasm emerged, “We’ve been looking at all of this very carefully, and realized that we could grow this business to a real money maker. So we’ve got to go after this professionally. That means real marketing brochures, and using first rate materials. We’re looking at hiring people to run work crews.”Benny reached into their ‘business box’ and pulled out an example of the advertising envelope they left at people’s houses. He handed it over to Tim who passed it along to his father. “You’ll notice that we have our solicitation permit number on it, the relevant town codes requiring home owners to have their address visible from the street, and how our product meets those codes. We actually got a lot of information on that one envelope.”“I’m impressed.”Tim’s father wasn’t just saying that. He was impressed. Probably more impressed than most parents would be upon learning what his son was doing. He was part owner of a wholesale.
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