The monastery where I had been staying these last years was not without a garden. The garden, conveniently located in the center of the monastery where none could escape, was filled with lush vegetation. One could theoretically get lost in such a place if it were not for the four convenient exits. I found myself wandering around in this Eden, completely oblivious to my surroundings. In the center of the brush, I pulled up my robe and peered down at my new legs. They seemed so graceful and elegant, as if they had been molded for a particular purpose.Above me, the chanting of the monks signaled mid-afternoon. I stopped what I was doing and knelt down in prayer. As the monks sang, my feet began to feel jumpy. I stood up and began to move with the chanting. The dance carried me throughout the brush. Careful not to disturb others, I quietly danced through the meadow, praising the goddess of love and virtue for all she had done. I found myself moving to the dances I had learned as a youth,. " ....But - suppose she catches me....."Many valuable minutes were squandered in pointless and frustratingpersonal debate, until I managed to convince myself that there wasnothing to be afraid of. I stood in front of the large mirror, and,before my courage finally deserted me, quickly undid my belt, andpulled my trousers and underpants down. I took a brief peep throughthe window; still all clear; picked up the maternity belt, and holdingone end in either hand, carefully wrapped it around the lower part ofmy body; tried to fasten all the hooks and eyes together, and thensuffered what was to prove to be the first of the many deepdisappointments in my life.It was much too big for me. The hooks and eyes overlappedconsiderably; so much so, that the larger boned panel came close toencircling me on its own. My feelings changed from fear andtrepidation to the old familiar sense of failure and defeat. No matterhow I tried, there was no way I could possibly make it fasten and fitme.That was the.
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