That was the real problem. If he weren’t in the equation, the other moms would have had no qualms about leaving their daughters at the ranch. Evelyn Gordon laid a hand on Lily’s to comfort her.“They are good children,” she said. “Hannah isn’t ready to do anything sexual and I’ve been watching her with Samantha. They are great friends. I know that Samantha wouldn’t let anyone push Hannah and I’m sure Hannah would object if anyone pushed Samantha.”“She just has so little self-control,” Lily said.“From what I’ve seen and heard, Brian has enough self-control for all five of them,” Anna said. We all looked to her. I was so glad she’d come to spend the weekend. We had a good time laughing and talking way too late last night before we’d gone to our rooms—Anna in the guest room, Hayden and me in our bedroom. When Hayden reached for me, he found me wet and ready. But we’d been circumspect with each other and had avoided anything suggestive while getting to know Anna better.“What have you. His house is about to go to the bank. His face has begun to look older than it is. His wife and beautiful infant daughter left him and moved back east. His wife can be mentally unstable sometimes and he worries about the baby. I’ve seen him cry silently about it. He spends long hours on the phone with her, staring sadly off into the distance while her angry voice pours out of the receiver and into his battered brain. I keep to myself while he has these conversations. She knows I am here, but there is no need to amplify my presence. I do my best to disappear. Eventually, he will hang up, walk silently outside where he will sit on a log and let his head hang heavy in his hands. Times like that, I know well enough to not go right out. He doesn’t need me, not like that, he never has. I watch him from the kitchen window and his sadness travels through the dusk and up to me. It’s cold outside, the ground is frozen beneath his feet and all the trees have dropped their leaves. There is snow.
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