I have lots of confidence in Jo. It’s just that, well, to have Guy there, my son with Joanna, whom I love and not be able to call him son. Do you understand Lena? I’m sorry if I seem a bit maudlin but it is difficult to deal with, having him so close, particularly at this time. It didn’t seem to matter quite so much before but now . . . Oh god I wish he knew,’ he said with such depth of feeling. There wasn’t anything I could do other than hold him but now I became determined that I would try to do something. Oh I knew it was dangerous but this was so bloody unfair. Unfair on all of us but particularly on him. He didn’t deserve this did he, he’d paid for his selfishness for years. He didn’t need to go on paying. I was determined to talk to Jo about it to see what we could do. Luckily, as it turned out, I didn’t need to do anything, it was sorting itself out. ‘I’m not happy with this,’ I said, ‘it’s not fair on you. Why is Gianna so firm about him not knowing?’ ‘I think she’s ashamed. Tonight I get to watch. She plays guys like they're chessboard pawns. She gets what she wants. Tonight's goal was a good buzz, a quick lay the maybe some food before I got mine. I went in. She had a couple guys with her. Everyone was drinking, having a good time. I stayed opposite them from the bar. Soon enough she texted. "Backroom bjs. Watch if u want". I gave them a few minutes. I went back, sure enough she was on her knees. I went to take a leak. I returned and found her bent over the table. She was getting fucked by one guy, I didn't see the other. I would have to discuss with her the difference between a bj and a lay. I went back to the bar and had another beer. I didn't think they would be gone so long. I went back to peek in and said to myself, "oh wow"! I hadn't noticed all these guys from the bar. There were at least a dozen guys in with her. She was grunting hard, "uhuh uh uh fuck uh uh uhng uhuhuhuhuh" I wasn't sure if this was planned. I figured out soon enough. One guy.
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