That dam was broken now and I was happyit did.I've been living every minute of everyday wishing and dreaming what itwould be like to be a girl, to be female. It's been my secret, but noweveryone close to me knew and I was okay with that.Now as I stood looking at myself in the mirror I saw her, I saw Ashleylooking back at me and not Ben nor anyone else was going to make me goback to being a boy. I don't want to be Andy anymore, I don't want to bea boy, I never did, I want to be Ashley.It's ignorant to me, but really it's mostly uninformed or ignorant orboth. No one can ever feel or knows what it's like to be transgenderunless they are.It's like when I watch tv or scroll through social media, well when i hada phone anyways, how most people have no idea what's like to be me or howI've felt my entire life. How every decision, thought or choice issecondary to, "Why can't I be a girl" i mean how can they comment orjudge, saying things like "you're a boy not matter what you do" or "boysare. Mr. Teman we called him. All the other girls would go, "Oh, look at him. He's so hot!" or "Look there's Mr.T!" Me. I didn't really see it until seven months ago. Just one day he walking past me, and he winked at me. Just one wink, but it was enough to make me go crazy. Insane even. At first I was wondering why he would wink at me. Then I was wondering why I would even care. I didn't like him, and then slowly he seemed more appealing. I look at his ass, or I'd raise my hand more even though I didn't know the correct answer. Then out of nowhere I started getting better grades on my home work. I would get my papers back, and I would be in shock. I'd look up at him, and be like "are you sure you graded this right?". He'd just smile at me, and move on to the next person. Then next thing I know I was standing in front of his desk after class demanding how I got the grades I was getting. Most of the working I did wasn't even correct, and I had rushed to fill in answers before.
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