"I could feel that my cheeks had turned a hot red and I refused to makeeye contact."This isn't easy for me," I said, feeling tears well up in my eyes.Please don't cry now, I told myself. The worst part, though, was that Ifelt more aroused than ever after she laughed at me. The shame was onlymaking me hornier."Why can't we..." but I stopped the question in mid-sentence and triedto rephrase it. "Will we never be able to... Won't I ever be able toput my...."Again I stopped. I couldn't say it out loud. Not with the voice of agirl."I'm sorry," she repeated and she sounded truly regretful. Then, in anupbeat and consoling tone, she said, "I know what to do! You needsomeone to tell you to cum. You need me to give you permission.Right?" Yes," I answered and the next moment I looked down. I was playing withmyself again. "Yes, I need that more than anything right now, Lauren.Please!"I knew even as I said it how pathetic I sounded, which, in turn, onlydrove me more crazy with. But I love being around Her and just talking. Recently Cindy began to push me more on visiting. I had been saving up for a trip to visit Her and was at the point that I could come for a visit for a long 3 day weekend. I asked Cindy if She had plans and She said no. I asked if She was serious about me coming down for a visit and She said, ‘of course I was serious!’ She said I was always welcome to visit. So we firmed up the plans on when I would arrive the following month. I was very excited thinking about the visit. She told me to save a little extra spending money because She had some fun activities planned. I didn’t pick up on it as the weeks passed, but gradually She was asking more questions about my interest in submission and my sissy tendencies. She was gathering information for my visit. We talked on the phone the week before my visit and She seemed very excited about my pending visit. I asked what She had planned for us to do while I was there and She said.
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