I considered the large recycler that we used to destroy Corporal Winter's body. It was mostly silent now, though James had worked out a system of robots that were working to enlarge our living area. They carried chunks of the asteroid that made up our home to it to be digested and formed into structural members for an even larger station or to become the bodies of the drones we sent out with our messages and observations. I could throw myself into the maw of that machine and end my pain. It was certainly tempting.Rather than give in to that thought I got up and headed for the gym or dojo. Actually I think it is really a bit of both. If no one was there I was going to hit and kick the heavy bag James had set up until my hands and feet were bleeding. If someone was there I really would have to watch myself. I wanted to hurt someone, strangely enough I also wanted to be hurt. There was a part of me that even wanted to die.I felt dirty. It was even worse than waking up the day after. My balls wereeach weighted with two pounds of lead shot, my cock, which had been tiedoff very tightly at the base, had a couple of alligator clamps biting mycock skin. All this while I was being fisted at one end and blowing acouple of guys at the other end. I thought it pretty standard andactually had a good time, even though I wasn't allowed to cum and I didlook pained in the video. The article claimed that scenes like that onemoved standards for what was acceptable in porn movies. It may have been extraordinary in porn movies, but for me it wasextraordinarily soft and mild. Master Butch had me in a similar hogtie,briefly, once when he decided that I needed to loose some weight. He putme in ballet heels, tied my wrists and ankles with broad rubber strapsand suspended me like that. While outrageously stressful on theshoulders, arms, hands and legs, I had tried it before. Then he produceda large dildo; very long and quite thick, with a hole down the center. Ioriginally thought that.
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