Without a word, we started walking toward the group. When we were about fifteen feet away, I could see two smaller bodies trapped inside the semicircle, their backs against the wall. Between the gaps in the crowd, I was surprised to see Jorge and Kristina Mendoza were the ones surrounded.Richie was the only member of The Bulls standing inside the group. He had a cowlick sticking straight up on top of his greasy head, an errant lock of hair that refused to be controlled by anything Richie put on it. He was derisively known as Alfalfa behind his back, and occasionally to his face."I'll betcha you're a hot little tamale, aren't you? Are you a hot one, Conchita? Como esta blowjobs?" Richie was saying. He tentatively reached out toward Kristina, who flinched away."Leave her alone, you piece of dog shit," yelled Jorge."Close it, Jorge. Whore-Hay. What the fuck kind of name is that, anyway?" The group around them tittered as if they were witnessing a star performance on The Tonight Show.. Sometimes, when I just talk about it outside of deep relaxation, it goes away like it never was actually there to begin with. I don’t understand how that can be, but Doctor Jamison says not to worry about it, it’s just my mind dealing with whatever it was and resolving it. She says that’s why she brings those issues up. It’s so I can consciously face them and put them away like clothes I no longer want to wear…clothing I don’t need any longer. It does feel good to set them aside. I feel fresh and clean again…but the hurt always closes back in when I think about my little girl and my husband. ‘Baby steps,’ Doctor Jamison tells me. Big problems don’t get solved easily, she says. It takes time and lots of work. There are times Doctor Jamison has to help me deal with a problem in a different way. Like with my father and mother…Doctor Jamison talked them into coming down here from Albany for a week. It took all I had to face my father and tell him how bad he made me feel when I saw him.
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