Maybe we'd just cuddle again tonight.I slipped under the covers and felt the cool clean sheets around my naked body. When I got closer to Maria, it was considerably warmer. No panties this time. In fact, no nothing. Just bare girl.All the blood was rushing to my groin.Cuddle, my ass! It was time to penetrate some orifices!The blankets had been pulled away, letting that cruel cold air touch her unprotected skin, but if Maria wasn't still sound asleep, she was doing a fantastic job of faking it. I managed to pull and tug and gently rearrange her slumbering form until the particular orifice I had in mind was nicely accessible.Maria and I had so many as-yet unexplored vistas! She was, at least to me, still almost completely virgin territory. We'd kissed (finally). We'd "slept together" -- but it had been, literally, mostly sleeping. My erect penis had nestled happily in her (fabric-covered) crotch during that night of ridiculous restraint in Chicago.And that had been about it. Well. I. But only to him. I can’t blame myself. There was more to it than that. So much more. But that’s the way it goes. He’s over and done with me and I sit here rotting. Waiting for the scar tissue around the hole in my mind (where all of the things I believed about him have been distorted, warped, changed and ripped out) to harden. Waiting for the scars across my torn fingerprints to close and fade into one of the many lines that say so much without speaking. He worked his way into my fingerprints. Fingerprints do change. They are lives. You can read a fortune upon them and, if you follow the curves, distinguish individual pain. Fingerprints burn and cry and bleed longer, harder than eyes ever could. I wash them daily, my scars and fingerprints. Caress them. Sometimes I see him. Just long enough that he can thrust himself back into my life. Long enough for the wound to be torn farther to add bacteria to the contaminated flesh. I sit in the shower for hours crying the water that consumes.
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