"It was a while ago now that I wrote the composition that gave my teacher an orgasm. And with no copy, I have to write it from memory. But here is what I can remember of it, just in case any of you may have to write a compostion someday that gives your English Literature teacher an orgasm."Birthday Surprise"I once slept with two girls that were best friends. The first girl was so hot she virtualy wore me out. Don't get me wrong. She was fantastic in bed, but she didn't ever want to stop. The last time I slept with her, we did it three times in a row that night and she still wanted more. She was sexy like crazy, but I just wasn't a machine.I met her friend, not knowing that they knew eachother and although, she was dynamite in bed, she at least came up for air every once in a while. So one night when we went out to dinner, we ran into my old flame and her best girl friend. My new girlfriend spotted here, and introduced us.I tried to play it cool, and I just said. "Oh, we met. There is nothing to own.” “I know about you existentialist,” Luke said. “You think you live and you die and that’s it.” “Right, there’s no spirit, no soul, no afterlife, no God, no Devil, or arch angel named Lucifer. It’s all irrational mythology. The only thing that matters is my life and right now I’m miserable.” “Paul, I know you’re an educated man, a scholar, a poet, a good poet. You’re a smart man, but not a wise man.” “Listen, Luke, I beg your pardon for being so blunt, but I think this is nuts and you’re delusional. You can’t change my life. The only one that can change me is me, and I have come to reluctantly and painfully accept that the days of having young women look and desire me are gone.” “So you don’t believe if you drink my potion and we shake hands, nothing will change,” Luke said, sitting with his hands folded, resting on the desk, looking calmly at Paul. “Is that what you think?” “That’s right, but I’ll tell you what, if it makes you feel better I will drink your.
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