" It will be this time, Pete. I promise."It was fairly early, but I soon went right off to sleep, the uncertainty of what had happened to my sister was making me happy. I knew where she was tonight and she was right beside me. I had to get up once for a bathroom break. Roberta had left. The house was quiet. I lay in bed when I returned. Revelations had come today. I thought about my father, my sister and some about my mother.What I had heard about Mom today was a surprise to some extent, but then I remembered how shrill and nasty she had been to my older sibling in the past. For now I was going to listen to Roberta. Yes, she was still Roberta to me. I would continue to think of her with that name.About my father and he being gay with a partner, I suppose I could deal with that okay. I would find Dad's partner, George Whitmore, and talk with him. I guess he was okay, but he had destroyed my family. He must have a few good points, for he had seen to Roberta when she was troubled enough. Uterine cancer, which, by the time it was diagnosed, had metastased. The doctors had tried heroically to save her, and did extend her life by a year or so, but that was all. She hardly had time to say goodbye.I barely made it through the funeral. My oldest daughter, herself distraught from the loss of her mother, had to care for me like a baby. I couldn't think, could barely breathe, and didn't want to. The kids settled Claire's affairs; I wasn't capable. Eventually though I had to try and have some sort of life, even if it was without her. That's how I ended up as a troll.Yes, a troll. You know the kind. Lives under a bridge. Grumpy. Doesn't want company. A long time ago, I read a series of essays called Magic Harbor1, by a fellow named Don Berry. In one of the essays, he described himself as a troll. I find myself in a very similar physical and emotional situation. I live on my boat, not under a bridge - that doesn't work well with a real mast - and without the light in my life. I.
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