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I’ve known some men to jack off with slices of deli ham. I have even been privy to those odd characters that obsessively clean their hands or only step on certain color tiles as they walk through the mall. Let’s face it, we are ALL fucked up in some way. I glared at my brother, who settled into his familiar megalomania, feeling he’d won a battle of maturity. I can only explain his gratification by assuming he is jealous. Yes, that’s it. Jealous, because at 40, he has been divorced twice, both times taken for all he had, and has virtually no artistic talents with the exception of holiday lawn ornaments which he cuts out of wood. Even then he uses a pattern. Good old-fashioned jealousy once again strikes the hearts of my family members as they realize I am more unique than they are. I am my grandmother’s favored grandchild because I live up to my name as the black sheep with great attention to detail. Tonight, at a restaurant where the waiters wear fifty buttons and karaoke singers. Mind you, her big tits, which she seemed happy to show off in little bikinis, might have had something to do with it. Abi was nice too: friendly and easy to talk to. Her husband was coming down later to join them (I think there was some problem at work which he needed to sort out), but for the time being, it was just the two of them, so I think she was glad of some other people to talk to.One day, my Mum and Dad had gone down to the village to get some postcards, Matt had gone off with Sally somewhere, and I’d been down on the beach, having a swim. After a while, I’d had enough, and came back to the hotel with the plan of grabbing a sun-lounger by the pool. But they all seemed to be taken, so I wandered down to the storeroom in the far corner of the grounds to see if there were any spare ones hanging around down there.The storeroom was part of a wooden building made up of a few rooms which were basically used as storage for gardening and other maintenance equipment, although guests.
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