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So let me tell you about the time Hermes single handedly cucked and fucked his way to being ruler of Olympus...this’ll make sense later.Our story begins in the forests of ancient greece. The messenger god Hermes was floating above the trees, sorting letters that Zeus instructed him to deliver to his mistresses, the king couldn’t even be faithful to his own sidechicks. “Hey, Hermes!” the god in question looked and saw his half sister Artemis sitting on a log while skinning a boar.“Oh, hey Artemis!” Hermes greeted as he joined the huntress on the log.“Father sent you to deliver letters to his mistresses again?” Artemis asked. A long time ago her Fathers infidelity would’ve enraged Artemis, but she was used to this by now.“Yeah, thankfully Thoth and the rest of the Egyptian Pantheon were willing to teach us how to write letters, now I don’t have to recite all five hundred of these orally,” Hermes said. “If I had a drachma for everytime a mortal woman thought I was hitting on her because. ‘I planned to have Lex stop him for speeding, then search his car incident to the stop. From what Melanie told us last night, I was sure we’d find drugs. Then I’d have had something to lean on him with.’ ‘Did it work?’ Heidi asked. She started for the living room. Tim followed. ‘It did, but not exactly the way I planned it,’ he said. ‘Juan ran on us and we wound up in a high-speed pursuit. He crashed over on Pulver. We found a lot more drugs than I figured, which gave us a whole lot of serious charges to use against him.’ ‘Good, I hope they lock him up and throw away the key,’ Heidi said. ‘What did he tell you about Melanie?’ ‘He said the reason he did what he did was to get revenge on her for screwing around on him,’ her husband replied. ‘What?’ Heidi asked. ‘How did he know that she was screwing around on him?’ ‘Juan claims he followed her from the mall to some guy’s apartment the other night,’ Tim said. ‘He she went in and didn’t come out for several hours.’ ‘Juan didn’t actually.
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