Sapna Boudi
“She was having a nightmare,” James said. “I heard her scream out. Damn, she is strong,” he added, but he made no move to let me go, and I wasn’t ready for him to leave either. My fingers were buried in his shirt.“Sorry, Daddy,” I mumbled into James’ lovely warm chest. The blankets were tangled between us on his side, and I knew dad could see we were both clothed, so I stayed where I was. I liked the way James held me protectively.“I expected she would. Killing three men and being shot at has got to affect her. She is tough, but I suspect it will haunt her for a long time to come. Mine still haunts me from time to time,” dad said.“Mine too,” James said and hugged me a bit tighter.I was surprised to hear that James had killed someone. He was from Mackay and had been reassigned here just after I had left for Townsville. I knew dad had taken him under his wing and had been tutoring him. He had passed his assessments for detective a year ago and mostly worked with Detective Sergeant Tanya. It was clear to me that my child was not so lucky. It was also clear to their school. And when Donald insisted it was the school's fault and pulled them out, the same issues were clear to the next school. Defiance, tantrums, peer conflicts... I don't know where they learned some of the things they said in kindergarten up, but it was disturbing. It made me frightened for the future.Donald wasn't frightened. He blamed the other kids. He blamed the school. He blamed me. When he came home all the problems other people talked about and told him about disappeared - because all the punishments went away, whatever was desired was given. Instead of sticking to a punishment, we all went out for ice cream, or bought a new toy or electronic, rewarding whatever behavior was causing trouble. Every. Single. Time.Bad behavior was rewarded. Good behavior... well we didn't see a ton of that, but what little there was wasn't rewarded nearly so nicely. Maybe that was in part my fault, but I was.
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