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" No no," she said in what seemed like a genuine, warm almost whisper, "It's very interesting. I really like a man with a little intelligence..." Her eyes gazed in to mine intensely. I despaired at my lack of confidence as she was so clearly the master of the conversation.She had told me she was writing for a couple of magazines. Freelance work. Having a lot of fun. Going to a lot of art galleries and working on a novel. She was very Bohemian. Definitely an intellectual but not a scientist. I thought about how boring I must be to her but how good a job she was doing of being polite. Which is why what happened next was such a shock."So are you... heh," I tried to sound as casual as possible. "Are you seeing anyone at the moment?"She paused, silent for a suspenseful couple of seconds and my heart instantly sank, fully expecting the next words out of her mouth to be 'yes, I'm married with twelve kids'. A faint, curious sort of smile came to her lips and she exhaled softly before finally. ”“Even by accident? Say you’re in a public bathroom, pissing in a urinal, and a crazy kid comes running in, accidentally runs into your stream, and you blast his snotty little face with your golden bladder juice. Fucking next thing you know, you’re in jail, getting shanked, getting your cheeks busted by a tatted-up Aryan Brotherhood gang member. Fuck...”“I’m using the stall from now on...”“Or did the piss originate from above? A balcony shooter. A roof shooter.”“The Oswald of Piss...”“A second shooter theory. One from nearby and one from above.”“Dude’s parents had enemies...”“Magic piss. Ricocheting.”“A rooftop pisser, a sniper. Like someone at a crowded party, couldn’t make it to the bathroom, relieved himself off a roof. Did it innocently enough. Thought he’d hit a dumpster or some shit, accidentally sprayed dude’s parents.”“You really think it was incidental?”“Accidental. It was an accident. I want to believe that. It helps me maintain faith in humanity.”“What’d they do.
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